Stripped Naked (….Based on a true story)

Having a chat(office ki bakar) with one of my Tamil friend, finally(don’t know how) we arrived at a topic of how we were punished when we were in kindergarten.
I mean you cant slap the child at that age,fearing that his head might chop off from his 20kg body. As far as I remember, i was told to kneel down, at max “papa ko call kar lete they” . My friend(the tamilian), revealed that when they crossed the line, they were stripped (NICKER UTAR DI JAATI THI…).

My jaws dropped …i was like…dude…mazaak kar raha hai na….you joking right???
Me : that’s almost molestation…your teacher is a pedophile…(He was offended more by the pedophile remark, rather than the molestation one!!!!)
Him : You don’t about schools in India, having spend half of your childhood abroad (he was referring to another third world country, where i have spend some time…), this is the norm here, its followed all across India.
Me : seriously..i mean…molestation…you ignorant bastard!!!! (he reminded me of Joeys family tailor-who touched his intimate parts to make pants…..)
Him : chill yaar…its normal in my school….all this molestation, sexual abuse are creations of the 21st century, before that logon ke dimak mein itni gandagi nahin thi….
Me : (thoda maze lene ka time aa gaya tha… ) How does it work??? I mean…tiffin nahin khaya (degree 1 punishment) …..chalo shirt utaro….you talk while the teacher is teaching(degree 2)…..chalo pant utaro…..didn’t do your homework….(degree3….mention karne ki zaruurat nahin…)
Me(again) : if the girls do something wrong???…unko bhi??
Him : naa..not to them.(contradicting his logon ke dimak mein gandagi nahin-nonsense)
Me : yaar this is partiality…unki to free ki pradershani ho gayi…(how lucky!!!!)
Him : (Frustrated)…What would you do???
My haryaniwi friend sitting next to me, insinuated himself into the now-heated discussion saying… I will pull off her saari and run away…
…and this went on for another 10-15 minutes…

As the news spread in the office corridors (thanks to me…), becoming the gossip of the week, you can very well imagine what must be going through his mind.

Metamorphosis

Time changes – so do you…many things change when you move from the college to the office:

1. Project Managers have replaced profs….now you get a “I-am-the-one-who-decides-your-salary” smile to the previous “Do-whatever-you-want-I-decide-your-grades” snort.
2. You start speaking one-liners like “Have a nice weekend”, “how was your day”, “hope you enjoyed your holiday” …all of these allude to the fact that you have nothing else to talk about + I don’t like your face and so please leave me alone.
3. {The toughest one!!!} Getting up on time daily….and either start having a bath daily…or start investing heavily on deodorants…
4. Memorize infinite number of passwords…there is a password for every thing….using your computer, using the LAN…using the lab…knowing your salary details…filling up the timesheets…{going to the toilet!!!}…what not…
5. And for some people…your “close ones” starts asking your salary details…after which they try to hook you up with some distant x-y-z friend’s daughter….

However, some things never change….I still can’t show the finger to my manager/professor….I still have to take orders from inferior people…..and whether it is high grades or low salary adding a small amount to it the very next year…doesn’t make much of a difference. I still don’t talk to girls, nor do they talk to me…in fact I hardly find them here, in this part of the country. Last but not the least…I still commit spelling/grammatical mistakes….and i am still grateful to my peers {Navdeep Jakhar in particular}….who have nothing
else to do…except to point them out.

P.S : One thing has surely changed…i have started to like TAMIL-hip-hop songs :

Dilli-Assam-Tamil Nadu

I know i have lived my life as a nomad…but i never expected to come deep south…to the other india….the darker india..the quieter india…the conservative india
….For someone like me who wanted to stay in a metro….this{”coimbatore”} surely isn’t the place to be…I first realised it during my delhi-hyderabad-coimbatore flight…when all the good ones got down at hyderabad….and what remained simply reminded me of my iit-experience{no offence to anyone}. People hear are different…they wear different clothes…they look different…they speak….I DON’T KNOW WHAT….but its different….the actors are different…and the films are “hilariously stupid” {watch “quick gun murugun” for details}.

Language is just one problem to start with…while there is always a doubt in your mind that the madrasi knows/understands hindi, you can’t never make fun of  him in front of them….however the reverse is always true…they love to speak tamil in front of me…well knowing that I can’t understand a bit of it. Its tamil advantage all over…the auto waalas, add a zero in their rates once they hear us speaking english or hindi…. The actors here make me feel that, with a bushy moustache…towel around my neck,  10 rupee sunglass and a dhoti below, even I can become one.

The women over here{except for a few exceptions…as always}are covered from top to bottom…{and its better that way..you really don’t want to see whats in the inside…}. They also have a gajra around on their hairs…whose smell is really nauseating…men prefer wearing a dhoti over a jeans….along with large amount of jewelleries..{4 rings per hand, on a average}..with the top button of the shirt open…and hardly you will find anyone without a moustache…plus they are dam rich…ferraris and convertible BMWs is common in this town..you will burn with jealousy when you when see them driving in their lungot …{dekh kar jal jaati hai!!!!}…

However..being said this…people here ..irrespective of their looks..are simple…and are satisfied with their tranquil life…you will never find them in a hurry…its not a rat-race situation here. They don’t show off…unlike people in dilli-haryana-punjab do….these are some of the things i would like to pick up…during my brief stint over here…but I just hope it wont be long….too much dosa-idly-samber is gonna kill me….